Men’s “sexual life expectancy” is 69. Let me repeat: 69

An insurance company was asked to pay compensation to a man who was rendered impotent after a car accident. How did they decide how much to pay? By finding out how many years of joy and bliss he missed, by determining what his “sexual life expectancy” was. And it was determined to be … 69. Let me repeat: 69. And G-Dragon is saying, “Yeah? So?”
Speaking of such, I can’t help but remember this story.

Former presidential candidate Huh Kyung-young is now a rapper. I’m neither kidding nor on crack

Do you remember Huh Kyung-young? He claims to have an I.Q. of 430, be able to see the future, to heal arthritis by touch, and to have been chosen to lead Korea by its mythical founder, Dangun. If elected, he promised to give couples 100 million won for getting married, move the U.N. headquarters to Panmunjom, and unite with Mongolia and, later, China.
He’s just finished an 18-month stint in jail for breaking election laws by spreading false information, such as the notion that after the campaign, he would marry Park Geun-hye. No sooner was he out of the clink than he resumed his eccentric behavior by claiming that the spirit of Michael Jackson visited him in prison, his body pierced with nails like Christ.
Now, Mr. Huh has released his first rap song. I’m not kidding. Thanks to Indieful ROK we can listen to this masterpiece, “Call Me.” Mad props also go out to Nude Viking for translating some of the lyrics:

Look in my eyes/
You will be happy/
Call “Huh Kyung-young”/
You will be healthy/
If you shout “Huh Kyung-young,” you’ll pass your tests/
Look in my eyes/
You’ll lose weight

I know that you will join me in waiting on pins and needles for his follow-up song, “Light of the East (Dongbangui Deungbul).”

Speaking of stressed-out students, whatever happened to the “Korean madness” girls?

To no one’s surprise, young Koreans spend the most hours studying in the OECD.

According to the comparative study on the life patterns of children and adolescents commissioned by the National Youth Policy Institute, Koreans aged between 15 and 24 spent an average of seven hours and 50 minutes per day on studying at school, private crammers or at home as of 2003, nearly three hours longer per day than the OECD average of five hours.

I wonder what those hours would look like if we only looked at high school students. The amount of time that Korean university students spend studying is next to zip.

And here is concrete proof that quality is more important than quantity.

But while Korean students spent eight hours and 55 minutes per week on math alone, the country ranked second in the OECD’s Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) in 2003 with 542 points, after Finland which scored 544 points. Finnish students spend just four hours and 22 minutes per week on math.

Are the “mothers’ mafias” who terrorize hogwons (private institutes) into doing their bidding (by threatening to take their kids to another hogwon) listening? Probably not.

If ever asked to present visible evidence that stress is driving young Korean students crazy, I would present this video* as Exhibit A. I wonder what ever happened to those girls? The skinny girl is a comic genius. One of the major entertainment companies should have snatched her up, if they had any sense. Who cares if she doesn’t really have vocal talent? A lot of Korean “singers” who can’t sing.

* I could watch that video a million times, and still get a smile on my face on the millionth-and-first viewing.

Sexual performance problems? Our medicine will have you using your thingy to smash through walls

Mad props to flakfizer for making and putting up this video.
Do you have problems with sexual performance or urinating? Don’t worry, our medicine will give you pee so powerful you’ll be smashing down walls!
By the way, there’s a kind of Korean wine made from wild berries, bok-bun-ja, which is supposed to have similar enhancement properties.

Japanese guy proposes to Girls’ Generation member he never met before

Some Japanese guy appeared on a TV show. He said, slowly in Korean, “”Korean woman pretty, please marry me …” Then he sang Girls’ Generation’s “Tell Me Your Wish.” After that, he went to Girls’ Generation member Soo Young, whom he had never met before, took out a diamond ring, and proposed to her.
Her reaction? “This is a precious ring that you have brought from Japan, so please find your perfect girl and place that ring on her finger.”
His response? “I want to go tour places where there is a lot of Korean women, like Apgujong.”
Actually, all of Korea has Korean women, but if he’s looking for cosmetically-enhanced women, he’s thinking of the right place. So if you’re in Apgujong and see some guy offering a diamond ring to female passers-by, you’ll know the background story.

(Updated) Will the Wonder Girls be the Franz Ferdinand of Twitter War One?

Korean singing group the Wonder Girls are one of the opening acts for the popular pop-rock group the Jonas Brothers on their current tour. A commenter at Pop Seoul said that some Jonas Brothers fans had posted negative comments about the Wonder Girls on Twitter. More importantly, I read from another commenter that when Wonder Girls fans saw this, they retaliated with cyber-harassment.
I decided to research this out via Twitter’s search engine.
Ohhh, my aching head. I feel like chunks of my brain have rotted away. Twitter is mental diarrhea transmitted to a screen. Attention Deficit Disorder + Narcissism = Twitter. So I only found a couple of examples. I hope you appreciate it, because it came at the cost of countless brain cells.

these wonder girls are weird…

@hannahhylen NO KIDDING! the girls behind me just laughed.

yeah, don’t like the wonder girls. they look like sluts.

wow get offended because I said I think the wonder girls look like sluts. I didn’t say they are.

okay to these people. you don’t know ME so stop calling me a slut. their dresses are short. but I guess I can’t talk because my shorts are 2

just get over it. sorry I offended your favorite girl group.

@jlovek oh I am. I like their music. their dresses were REALLY short. I’m not saying they are sluts because I don’t know them. that’s just -
-the impression I got. people went crazy and they don’t even know me.

@sunmikiwangjang I don’t dobut that they are nice. the seem really nice. I was just stating my opinion.

just let me have my opinion. kthanks. people keep screaming for the stupid screen.

so I met wonder girls. sorry if I offended anyone earlier. they really are sweet girls.

@victoriaOK it was so ridiculious I’m like stating my opinion and I get bitched at!

@alexza_18 I hate that I couldn’t just have my opinion. that’s just what I saw. thanks though

That’s the wheat (believe it or not). You can trawl through the chaff if you’d like.

Here’s more.

@minablas don’t be rude.. it seems like ur not giving wonder girls a chance. they’re really talented! they can sing & DANCE!

@Tommy_Jono_K please stop attacking other fans. be respectful.even though people r being rude to wonder girls,
WG wouldnt want fans to be rude back.

@mofutofu yeahhh i am yeah some wg fans were being really rude. so i wanted to show people that wonderfuls are NICE!

@zaharozoe why do u hate them so much ?

@woahxcorri give wonder girls a chance. u might like them. some people changed their mind after seeing them perform. plus they r super nice!

@Farrahri im sorry your being attacked. we just love wonder girls. some fans go crazy but i hope your not offended.. just dont be mean!

(the chaff)

Edit/Update:

Here is a video from Comedy Central which helps illustrate why I don’t like Twitter:

“Sure, you didn’t hear about it in the mainstream media, but I don’t see how “Delicioushair” could get this wrong.

(Hat Tip to ROK Drop)

Spelling Fail and Cleavage

See for yourself.

Worst Photoshop Job Ever

Did they really expect us to believe that this picture is real? (source)

Wolverine goes wild with three hot Korean chicks

(photographic evidence here)

Okay, they’re not the hottest three girls you’ve ever seen in your life, but you should see this video that was made when Hugh Jackman came to Korea to promote the movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Some things that you will kick yourself if you miss:

* They compliment him on his small face.
* “I have a beautiful face and sexy body. My specialty is dancing on tables. My nickname: Korean Beyonce.”
* “My act-trition (‘attraction’) is very, very young face.”
* “I was Miss Korea and I’m not married.”

If you’re a glutton for punishment, you can see Part Two here.

(Hat Tip to PopSeoul)

Celibate monk offers dating advice

A celibate monk has been offering dating advice for seventeen years. Here’s how he explains this seeming paradox:

“Whether it’s dating or serious love, all essentially is based on human relationship. And human relationship is based on karma,” he said in an interview with JoongAng Ilbo, published Saturday.

As a monk, he is also aware that he is doing something unusual and has a good way of defending it. “Buddhism attaches a great importance to karma, arising from human relationship. So, it’s not something very strange for a monk to do dating counseling,” he said.

But he admitted that it was not easy for him to be understood. “Even other monks regarded me as an odd ball a few years back. They thought even though I did it to help other people, but then the very job of talking about dating and very private affairs itself could become a stumbling block for a monk to gain enlightenment.”

He runs the “Happiness-healing center” in the Samcheong-dong neighborhood of Seoul, and began when, seventeen years ago, he was a chaplain in the military and counseled a heartbroken young soldier.
(source)